Defeating the Wicked Witch
by Cats070911
Summary: Tommy entices Barbara, Stuart and Winston to Nanrunnel to raise money for children. Little does he know what mischief Stuart has in mind. For Sparklebright whose encounter with a mythical creature inspired the story...
1. Chapter 1

**Author's note:** all usual disclaimers apply.

For Sparklebright, who had an encounter with a mythical creature...

* * *

"But it's for the children," Stuart Lafferty said, "you can't say no to helping children."

"I'll donate money or support in some other way," Barbara replied sharply as she took a large swig from her beer.

"It could be fun," her boss, Tommy Lynley, chimed in.

"For you maybe. You'll get to be the hero. I'll be the back-end of a horse or something."

Winston Nkata laughed. "Just as long as I'm not the front end. I don't want you poking around back there."

"I'll be the back end and you can be front," Stuart suggested to Barbara. Tommy glared at him. "Or Lynley can be the horse's arse."

"There'll be no horse!" Tommy thought the joke had gone far enough. "The Nanrunnel New Year Pantomime is something we put on every year. I thought it might be nice for us all to spend a few days at Howenstowe to relax and do the show. It's only show after all. Then we can welcome in the New Year together. Winston you could bring that constable from Traffic that you seem so smitten with and Stuart can bring his wife."

"Can I bring someone?" Barbara asked. Three heads spun to look at her.

"Yes, of course," Tommy said coolly.

"Hmm, pity I have no one then." Winston and Stuart laughed but Tommy breathed a heavy sigh then coughed to cover it.

"Come on Barbara, it'll be fun," Stuart urged.

"Do I have any choice?"

"No!" Three men spoke in unison.

"For the children. Otherwise I'd say no. And I am not being any sort of animal."

"Agreed," Tommy said unable to hide his enthusiasm. "I have just the part for you."

* * *

Tommy had wanted to drive Barbara down to Cornwall early. He had argued that it was to practice their lines and help the locals set up the stage but his motives had been more selfish. In recent months he had realised that he was happiest when she was with him and after years of tortured misery in varied forms he liked feeling happy. He also wanted her to have time to adjust to her role. Stuart scuttled his plans by suggesting they all go the day before the performance because his wife was going to her family and Winston's friend had not wanted to spend New Year away from London.

The inanity of the conversation coming from the back seat of his car annoyed him. Even Barbara, sitting in her usual seat, joined in and laughed at Lafferty's jokes. He knew he was sulking but it was his car, his plan and his pantomime. "We should practice our lines," he suggested, "while we're all together." He could feel their eyes rolling.

By the time they reached Cornwall five hours later they had learnt their lines to the half hour show. Much of the time was filled with visual gags and trying to get the audience involved and Tommy insisted ad libbing, as long as it was innuendo that would sound innocent to children, was encouraged.

Tommy had instructed his mother to put Barbara in Peter's old room in the family wing with Stuart and Winston in the guest wing. It was a subtle message that probably only his mother would understand but if, and he doubted he would, he managed to tell Barbara about his feelings for her, he wanted her close to him where no one would notice if they shared his room. Of course he knew it was only wishful thinking. He had had plenty of opportunities lately to tell her. He had taken her to dinner often enough. They had even been to the cinema a few times and to a West End show she had wanted to watch. An outside observer would probably think he was courting her, and in a way he was, but Barbara seemed oblivious. She was so used to his arm over her shoulder that she did not seem to notice that it now stayed much longer. Nor did she seem to think it strange that his arm was around her for the entire movie. He just wished he had to courage to perhaps kiss her. The act would be easy. It was the consequences that worried him. He needed to be sure it would not endanger what they had.

His attentions had not gone unnoticed nor were they unwelcome. In fact Barbara had enjoyed their evenings and his touch far more than she wanted to admit, even to herself. For those few hours she could pretend she was like any other woman, with an attentive, loving man beside her who made her feel as if she were well, a countess. She smiled at his grumpiness as they drove. She could tell he hated having Winston and Stuart with them but she assumed it was because of Stuart's unpredictability and desire to irritate.

Lady Asherton had greeted them warmly. She liked having company. The estate was becoming an increasingly lonely place and she often wished Tommy would settle down with a loving woman and return. Sadly her son showed no intention of remarrying or even dating anyone. She had intended to talk to him about while he was here but she had noticed straight away there was something very different about her son and the way he looked at his partner. She had assumed his request to have her in the family wing was for probity reasons but the way they looked at each other when the other was not looking gave her hope that romance was blossoming. Perhaps they were already lovers by the way Tommy was embarrassed. She hoped so. Barbara would be good for her self-absorbed son. She would be a very unconventional countess but she would never fail Tommy.

Barbara had expected to sleep in the guest wing and was amused that Tommy had protectively tucked her in the room next to his own. He was always suspicious of Stuart but she could look after herself, not that Stuart would try anything anyway. What disturbed her was that his mother had been almost smirking when Tommy had suggested he show her his room. It had been a simple slip of the tongue and he quickly corrected it. "Your room, I meant your room of course. How silly of me."

"Of course dear," his mother had replied. _Did she wink at me? Surely she can't think we...no!_

* * *

After dinner Tommy gave his guests a guided tour of the house. Barbara had stayed before but this time she seemed more comfortable with its size and, as she had phrased it, 'creaking grandeur'.

"Just like the host," Stuart had commented.

"Not so much of the creaking thank you," Dorothy said from behind him.

Stuart jumped and looked sheepish. "Not you Lady A. I meant the lord here."

"If he creaks and I'm his mother...ergo..."

Winston, Tommy and Barbara all wore wide grins and had no intention of helping him from his hole. Stuart shrugged his shoulders. "A fool doth think himself wise but a wise man knows himself to be a fool. And I think this fool might retire and rest for my starring role entertaining the fair maidens of Nanrunnel."

Fearing he would be alone with the Lynleys, Nkata quickly followed. "Me too. Thanks for dinner Lady A. See you tomorrow."

"Oh Mother," Tommy admonished gently, "you've intimidated our guests."

"Barbara's still here," Dorothy retorted.

"I'm used to their games," Barbara assured her.

"Well goodnight. I'll see you at breakfast." Dorothy smiled as she hastened to her room. She wanted them to have time alone.

"It's barely nine and everyone's deserted us. Would you care for a stroll down to the bay?"

"Sure."

Tommy led the way down well-worn steps to a small lookout above the bay. Below them his old, timber boat creaked against the waves. The metal fixings tinkled in the light breeze making the rigging squeak. Only a few streaky clouds obscured the star-laden sky. "Beautiful night," Barbara said, "so peaceful."

"It is," Tommy sighed as he stretched his arm over her shoulder, "I could stay here forever."

"Do you ever think about moving back?"

"Yes, often, especially with Mother getting older. I'd like to come back but my work and my life are in London."

"You could join the force here. Take that promotion. Less murders probably."

Tommy tightened his grip on her shoulder. "I'd miss you too much."

"You'd get another partner. Probably smarter, less mouthy, a lot less argumentative."

"How boring!"

They both laughed. "I'll remind you of that next time."

"I don't want another partner...ever." Now was a perfect time. Tommy turned to Barbara. She was smiling up at him. He bent his head to kiss her. She was staring at him wide-eyed but made no attempt to back away. "Barbara..." His phone began to buzz.

The moment was lost. Tommy checked his message. "Mrs Beaton about the hall. It'll be opened for us to rehearse from nine."

"Right. Well goodnight Sir. I think I'll turn in." Barbara had for a fleeting moment believed he had intended to kiss her. Her face flushed and her skin had tingled. She had wanted to feel his lips against hers.

Tommy walked her back to her room. He had been tempted to take her hand as they walked or kiss her at her door. Instead he had wished her sweet dreams and slunk into his room.


	2. Chapter 2

"Shall we go down this morning and fit our costumes?" Tommy asked as the team all finished their late breakfast.

"Good idea. I can't wait to see mine," Stuart quipped, "I've always wanted to be a tree!"

Barbara laughed at the way he rolled his eyes and stuck his arms and fingers rigidly in the air. Tommy looked over his coffee. "I see you're a method actor Stuart."

"He's very wooden I believe," Barbara added.

"But everyone likes the timbre of his voice."

"He could branch out into voice over work."

"He'd fell them I think," Tommy joked. She and Tommy laughed harder and looked at each other conspiratorially.

Winston cocked his head and looked at them. Their banter seemed different somehow. "Are you two going to try to become a comedy duo?"

"No Winston, because they're not funny," Stuart said, "I run rings around them."

Everyone started laughing again. Tommy was still watching his partner. Barbara was beautiful when she smiled. He stopped laughing. He suddenly had an unreasonable urge to make love to her. He wanted to see her emerald eyes light up just for him; because of him. She frowned and went silent. They stared at each other. Her eyes berated him. _You had a chance last night, if that's what you want._

Tommy tore his eyes away. "I'll see you outside in ten minutes. We'll take the Landrover. Mother will bring her car." Without daring to look at her he fled the room.

"Wait Sir." Barbara followed him from the room.

"What was that about?" Winston asked.

Stuart frowned at him and tutted. "Those that fear they hope and know they fear."

Winston groaned. "Does anyone in this house speak plainly? I'm going to clean my teeth."

Outside Barbra found Tommy standing by the house looking up at the hills. "Sir?"

"Oh, Barbara. Ready to go?" Tommy tried hard to act naturally and smile broadly.

"We're okay aren't we? You just seem...a little awkward."

"No, we're fine," he said lightly, trying to sound reassuring.

"If it's about last night..."

"What about last night? What were you two up to in the 'family' quarters?"

Tommy wanted to hit Stuart. Barbara flushed all colours and he could feel his own face reddening. "Nothing, you evil minded little twat! You should stick to tormenting your cadavers instead of innocent people." He stormed off towards the Landrover.

"Barbara, I'm sorry," Stuart said gently.

"It's okay Stuart," she said, "Nothing happened. Nothing ever happens. Sometimes I think...never mind. Just leave him alone. You know what he's like."

"I should apologise to him."

"Good luck."

Stuart took a deep breath and wandered over to Lynley. "Tommy."

"Not now Lafferty, I'm not in the mood."

"I'm sorry. After all these years I didn't know you'd finally realised you're in love with her."

"Says who?" Tommy looked aghast. He did not want to discuss his feelings for Barbara with Stuart.

Lafferty refused to be deterred. "Says every look you give her. Why don't you just tell her? I think you'll find it's more than mutual."

Tommy looked up. "Really? I don't want to endanger our friendship with some misplaced or unwanted attention. You can't go back from there."

"Then go forward."

* * *

The show was to be staged in the Nanrunnel Community Hall. It was large enough to hold the majority of the village but intimate by city standards. The stage was barely twenty feet wide and only about fifteen deep. Huge dusty maroon curtains in a heavy velvet no one made these day was strung on heavy poles across the stage. The village school had painted a backdrop that looked vaguely like a forest in that it had vertical streaks of brown covered in green swirls. The flora increased in sophistication from left, where the most junior students had painted, to right where the seniors had completed the scene.

"Cheerful," Stuart said as he inspected the theatre. As narrator he would be standing at the edge of the stage able to watch the performance and ad lib any errors. He also had to wind open the massive curtains.

"Right, let's get dressed," Tommy ordered. He was trying hard to act normally but he still rueing not taking his chance last night. He vowed he would not let the situation slip into another year without saying something to her. He glanced at his watch. He had less than twelve hours.

Twenty minutes later Winston was on stage feeling foolish. His witch's hat was too big and his dress was too small. "Why do I have to be the witch?" he asked petulantly as he adjusted his hat with his broom.

"Every panto has at least one cross-dressing character," Tommy replied. He had returned to the stage wearing only the bottom half of his costume and his face make-up.

"Stuart would have been a better witch!" Winston grumbled but as he watched Stuart waddling across the stage crammed into a brown cylinder with only his arms free and a huge green afro wig on his head, he silently thanked his boss.

"I look like a cross between Pollyanna and Dorothy," Barbara complained as she stepped on stage dressed in a frilly, swirling, yellow dress. She took one look at Tommy's bare chest and gasped. It was not the chest of fireman calendars; far from it. It was white and slightly pudgy with a downy covering of soft hairs but she wanted to run her hands over it, kiss it. She turned away to compose herself. She needed to say something very soon or she would go mad. She tried to pull her attention back to his words.

"You look nothing like my mother."

Barbara turned and started to laugh hysterically. Tommy had pulled his top half on. His purple bodysuit with the tail of a lion was rather endearing. She wanted to pat him or tickle him behind his long, floppy ears. Huge black whiskers were stuck on his face and wiggled when he spoke and that errant lock of hair was tumbling over his forehead. "What are you? A purple lion-rabbit?"

Tommy noted the tender look she gave him and the way her eyes lit up. He grinned at her. "It seems the local seamstress doesn't know rabbits have fluffy tails." He gathered up his tail and swished it about like a sword. "And I did say any colour but white."

They stood looking at each other and trying not to smirk. "Guaranteed laughs. That's what we wanted," he said.

"We'll get that alright! My tree is too tight."

They all turned to Stuart and burst into fits of belly-aching hysterics. "Is that a branch or are you just happy to see us?" Barbara teased.

Everyone except Stuart chuckled again at the unfortunately placed branch. Tommy was secretly pleased at Stuart's wardrobe malfunction. "Your trunk is on backwards. The branch is supposed to look like a tail not a...I can't even say it."

"Could I have a hand then?"

"No, I think perhaps it should stay there."

"Lynley, it's...painful. Barbara talk some sense into him!"

"We need a narrator Sir, I think we should help." She looked serious but Tommy could see the smile in her eyes.

Stuart stood still with his arms high in the air as the others twisted and pulled and unsuccessfully stifled giggles until the branch was near his rear. "Better?" Tommy asked.

"Much, thank you," Lafferty replied with as much dignity as he could muster.

"Just don't sit down," Winston said, "or you'll do yourself an injury."

Dorothy came wandering onto the stage. "Right," she said clapping her hands, "dress rehearsal."

As director she made them work hard, moving them to good positions on the stage, telling them when to ham it up and when to be serious. "We need more slapstick," she declared, "some fart jokes perhaps."

"Mother!" Lynley was embarrassed by his mother's turn of phrase.

"Oh loosen up Tommy, you take yourself far to seriously at times."

The others all looked at the ground trying hard to smother their amusement. Stuart coughed and Winston started to hum. Barbara felt for Tommy. He could be annoying at times but he did not deserve to be humiliated. She looked over at him and nodded. "Everybody farts, even the Queen as my Mum used to say. Good idea, I'm sure Stuart can work it in somewhere."

After another two hours Dorothy declared "I think you're ready. Have a break, the show starts in an hour."

Winston, Tommy and Barbara started to move off stage. "Oi! What about me?" Stuart called out.

"Should we?" Tommy asked Barbara.

She glanced over at Stuart who looked at her with pleading eyes. "Nah, he wouldn't do it for you." She winked at Tommy and they moved offstage.

"Lynley! Come back here."

With wide grins they snuck around behind Stuart. Tommy released a catch at the back and the tree opened. "What the?" Stuart said, "oh that's better. How did you? You mean all that twisting and pulling before and there was a latch?"

"Sorry Stuart, I couldn't resist."

"Hell is empty and all the devils are here!"

"Ah, Ariel then. Are you not my spirit servant?"

"Oh shut up lion-rabbit. I'm not in the mood." Even as he said it Stuart was laughing. "Haven't you got a meat carrot to eat or something?"

"Stuart!" Barbara and Tommy replied in unison. Lafferty shrugged and smirked at them. He wondered if they realised they were holding hands.


	3. Chapter 3

**Author's note:** apologies to lovers of Alice in Wonderland and The Rocky Horror Picture Show.

* * *

The children and their parents filed into the hall. The littlest ones sat at the front and the teenagers sat as far to the back as possible, hoping not to be noticed. Village pantos were not really cool places to be seen but it was a Nanrunnel tradition and no one wanted to offend Lord Asherton. Besides there would be fireworks over the harbour at eight o'clock, just after the show finished.

"Fair crowd," Barbara said nervously.

"About two hundred normally," Tommy replied.

"Two hundred! I can't do this in front of two hundred people!"

"Of course you can. It'll be dark. Just pretend they're not there." Tommy took her hand and squeezed it. He wanted to kiss her but now was not the time. They had both been embarrassed when Stuart had glared at their clasped hands earlier. Tommy had not even realised he had hold of her fingers until then. Barbara had laughed it off about being unsteady in heels and they had both rapidly dropped their hands.

"Easier said than done." Barbara squeezed his hand when he started to loosen his grip, then took a deep breath. She was trying to tell him that if this was more than friendship she was willing.

"You'll be fine." Tommy took the chance and gave her a quick, friendly peck on her cheek. He stepped back quickly enough to see her blush and smile. Tonight he would kiss her properly. He felt a foolish grin break across his face. She grinned back so he gave her a very quick kiss on her other cheek. A definite promise of things to come. "Right, I'd better go adjust my whiskers. See you onstage."

"Break a leg!" she called after him. When he was out of sight she jumped up and down excitedly on the spot. He brought out her inner schoolgirl.

"Five minutes! Five minutes till curtains open," Dorothy called as she clapped her hands at them, "places please."

Back in his tree trunk, Stuart took his position. He had loosened the straps he had found to a more relaxed fit. He coughed lightly to clear his voice. He nodded to the huge lad from a farm outside town whom he had paid five pounds to operate the curtains. The lad began to pull the heavy chain and the curtains slowly jerked apart. The boy moved and nearly tripped over the bucket of water than was there as a fire bucket. Stuart tried hard not to laugh. He regained his composure as the curtain finally opened.

Dorothy had turned on the music. It sounded like Peter and the Wolf meets the Beach Boys. Heavens knew where she had found it but it suited the surreality of the panto. The noises from the audience faded to rustling silence. His moment of fame was upon him. The spotlight shone awkwardly in his eyes then lowered to pool him in glory.

"Once upon a time in a forest behind Nanrunnel there lived an innocent lass called Janice who used to skip through the trees and talk to the animals. All the creatures of the forest would gather to wave to her as she passed and the trees would tell her tales of the wind. The spotlight widened to illuminate the stage and Barbara skipped around humming 'it's a Wonderful World'. The aidience cheered the heroine.

The spotlight focussed back on Stuart. "Then one day a new and menacing force was evicted from London and had to move into the forest..."

Winston stepped out. "Nya ha ha!" he menaced, "my name is Witch Way and I'm the new wicked witch of the Cornwall forests. I will control the forest and all its creatures!" The audience booed loudly. Nkata waved his broom at them. "None of that or I'll turn you all into frogs. Mind you from the look of it that would be an improvement!"

Winston moved close to Stuart. He pulled a small cauldron from under his cloak then broke off a branch of Stuart's tree. "Ow that hurt!"

"Shut up Tree of History or I'll chop you down and build a house. Nya ha ha!" The audience booed again. This time there were hisses.

Winston turned his back on the tree and bent over the cauldron to light a fire so his backside was facing Stuart. A loud, long, blurting fart noise came from the stage and Winston stood up quickly. The audience laughed. "Phew!" they cried.

"Phew indeed!" agreed Stuart who was now holding his nose with his hand that was encased in a leaf-covered glove.

Winston laughed. "Plenty more where that came from. I had twenty caterpillar burgers last night. Now for my evil spell. Add three drops of yak's blood..." Winston scratched his head and looked at the cover of the book he was reading from. "I knew I should have bought an English spell book rather than one on Amazon. Cow blood will have to do." Winston pretended to add ingredients to his pot and began to chant. "Double bubble brew of trouble, fire burn the woods to rubble, make all the creatures big and small, look like idiots one and all!"

Dorothy rapidly turned the lights off and on a few times and hit a pan with a spoon to simulate thunder and lightening. "A foul air fills the woods and all in it are afraid," Stuart said ominously.

There was a rustling noise. "I'm not yet ready. I must hide until my spell is prepared," Witch Way bemoaned. Winston gathered his pot and moved offstage.

Tommy came in from the other side. He roared rather timidly then hopped around the stage pretending to forage. He stopped next to Stuart and lifted his leg. He let out a long satisfied sigh. That had not been in the script. "Rabbits don't wee on trees!" Stuart complained.

"Lion-rabbits do." Tommy said with decided glee then hopped away to explore the grass on the other side of the stage.

Barbara came skipping onto the stage near Stuart, singing. "Tonight's gonna be a good, good night. A feeling, woo hoo, that tonight's gonna be a good night." She move closer towards the spot Tommy was frozen. "That tonight's gonna be a good night.*"

Winston burst from the trees. "What do we have here? Nya ha ha!" The audience booed. "A fine looking lass, ripe for corrupting."

"Who are you?"

"Witch Way!"

"To where?"

"No, I'm Witch Way, Wicked Witch of all Cornwall."

"You don't look very wicked. You're clothes don't fit and you have a five o'clock shadow." The audience laughed and booed Winston as he tried to adjust his clothes.

"I lost my real clothes in a spell that went wrong. Cheap imported eye of newt; it's just not the same. Anyway the witches' op shop was a little short on options. Seems a lot of witches are now going to Hogwarts and have taken all the glamour gowns. We working witches are left with the dregs. Why are you so happy?"

"I'm in the woods." Barbara spread her arms. "They're peaceful and beautiful."

Winston raised his arms and swung them down in a spell. "Piffle on the woods!" The lights flashed and the thunder noise returned. The stage plunged into darkness. The audience gasped.

When the lights came up there was less light and the backdrop seemed gloomier. "And so poor little Janice was left alone in the woods. She sat waiting and worrying what to do..."

Barbara sat on the log. Huge wracking sobs came from her. Tommy moved up beside her. "Don't cry."

Barbara leapt up and squealed. "What are you?"

"I'm Bradley, the lion-rabbit."

"Lion-rabbit? Your father was a lion and you mother was a rabbit?"

"No, the other way I think would be more...practical."

"But you're purple!"

"It's a long story. What's your name?"

"Janice."

"What a sweet name. I know we will be friends."

The lights faded except for a spotlight on Stuart. "Little does Janice know that Bradley was once a Prince who was picnicking in the forest when the previous wicked witch turned him into a lion-rabbit, the colour of his cloak."

For the next forty minutes Janice and Bradley had adventures together in the forest, evading Witch Way and talking to the trees and learning the secrets of the forest. They even had time for a tea party. Finally it was time for the showdown. Stuart continued his narration. "Now armed with the secret weapon that would defeat the witch Bradley and Janice waited."

They were sitting on a low bench that was decorated as a fallen tree. Barbara sneezed. It was not in the script and she sneezed again. "Are you okay?" Tommy asked.

"I think I'm allergic to your fur!" The audience giggled.

"Then I shall shave it off but first we must defeat Witch Way."

"I'm hungry."

Again it was not in the script and Tommy and Stuart began to chuckle. It seemed Barbara had completely forgotten about the audience. "Then I shall feed you later with a platter of Nanrunnel's finest seafood and fruits of the forest but first we must defeat the evil old crone."

"Oi! Not so much of the old," Winston said mischievously. He was not sure why they should have all the ad lib fun.

"Hark, I think I hear her!" Tommy cried. He and Barbara stood up. Stuart noticed they were holding hands again. That was not in the script either but it settled it for him. Winston was not the only one with evil thoughts.

Winston appeared from behind Stuart. The audience booed and called out "behind you, she's behind you."

"Nya ha ha. At last I have you alone." The audience booed loudly. The strains of Surrender** wafted from the speakers.

"Your Cheap Tricks can't defeat us Witch Way," Bradley cried. "Nobody wants to want you." The adults in the audience groaned.

Winston raised his hand. "Behold the Magic Purple Orchid. It has the power to command you to my will."

"Well, it is rather stunning," Bradley agreed looking at the shiny metal photo Winston was holding up to mesmerise them.

"Is everything in this forest purple?" Barbara asked as she gave Tommy an elbow in the ribs. It was only now she realised they were holding hands again. "Be a prince Sir! Put up your magic shield and fight with the boldness of your lion, the speed of your rabbit and the courage of your heritage. Oh and here's that potion."

Tommy drew himself up to full height and charged at the witch. The audience cheered and yelled instructions and encouragement. He grabbed Winston and in a practiced move threw him onto the soft mat hidden from the audience's view. They grappled as the audience yelled 'fight, fight, fight!'. Finally Winston made a last straggering attempt to stand then fell down in a dramatic death after Tommy liberally sprinkled him with the potion. The audience clapped and stamped their feet.

"Oh brave Bradley, my hero!"

This was the point where the curtain was supposed to close but Stuart did not give the signal. "And so now our hero and heroine are alone. Will he reveal himself to her?" The audience tittered and Barbara and Tommy glared at him. Even the dead witch guffawed.

"Why, what do you mean Tree of Knowledge?" Barbara asked with fake innocence.

"A lion-rabbit? You seriously think a lion bred with a rabbit? Ask him about the spell that made him so."

Tommy took up the thread. "Tis true Janice. I was turned to this by the last wicked witch. I am a prince now trapped forever in this body."

"Can nothing be done?"

"Alas no. The curtain must fall on me like this." It was a clear instruction to Stuart.

Stuart actually laughed at him. "Poor Prince. You can free him with a kiss!" The audience cheered. Stuart used his branch-arms to whip them up. "Kiss, kiss, kiss!" he cried with a cheeky grin.

The audience took up the chant. "Kiss, kiss, kiss, kiss!"

* * *

* Black Eyed Peas, 'I Gotta Feeling'

** Cheap Trick, 'Surrender'


	4. Chapter 4

Tommy looked sympathetically at Barbara. She had to kiss him to break the spell, he could not act first or it would look silly. He wondered if she would. Or could with an audience. This was not what he had planned and his eyes apologised.

Barbara knew that there was no way out of this, she had to kiss him and it had to be more than a quick peck on the cheek. She glared at Stuart. He could wait. She would get even somehow. "We have to make this look convincing," she whispered to Tommy.

He bent down, put his hands behind his back and puckered up in an exaggerated gesture that he hoped might look like it was staged. Barbara smiled and adopted the same stance then planted a kiss squarely on his lips. She lingered just long enough to call it a kiss. The audience 'oooed' approvingly.

"No good!" Stuart cried, "he has been trapped so long in his own world only true love will set him free. Kiss him like you mean it Janice."

Barbara grunted and cursed under her breath. She inhaled deeply then stepped up to Tommy and kissed him tenderly. Tommy groaned softly then pushed gently back. Stuart had whipped the audience up again. "Kiss, kiss, kiss!"

When Barbara's lips tugged gently at his Tommy surrendered to his urges. He no longer heard or cared about the audience. All he could think about was how soft and willing her mouth was and how it seemed as if the last piece of a complex, difficult yet beautiful jigsaw puzzle had just clicked into place. His arms came around her and pulled her closer. Her arms slipped around his waist. They both paused to breathe or speak but his lips followed hers, never quite leaving them. When she opened her mouth slightly his tongue teased her. Without thinking their tongues greeted each other and expressed a deep, mutual and clearly lustful but loving desire.

In some background haze he heard the audience clapping and hooting. He jerked back to reality and reluctantly pulled away. He ripped off his whiskers and his hood. "You've saved me! Tis I Prince Bradley, lord of all Nanrunnel. Now that we have defeated the wicked witch you can share your life with me and we will live happily ever after."

Barbara was trying hard not to laugh at his sudden dramatics. "Yes, Prince Bradley, we can live in your castle and all the plants and animals will be our friends."

Tommy kissed her again in a dramatic gesture that swept her backwards like a tango flourish. They expected the curtains to close. Tommy thought he heard them squeaking shut so he held the pose. But it was not a fake kiss. It was real and it was wonderful. Barbara wanted to kiss him, her actions were not staged and he wanted to kiss her for eternity.

Stuart had enjoyed the way they hammed it up but watching them he knew what was happening between them was real and new. He was happy that he had been the catalyst for bringing them together but he knew he would pay for it later. He had enough sense to signal for the curtains to close.

Winston smiled up at them but thought they were just hamming it up for the panto. The DI and Sergeant would never really kiss each other and especially not in public. This was just for show and he saw his chance for a comic ending. He rolled away out of sight then found the fire bucket. He raced back on stage and threw the water over them as you might two randy dogs in the street. "Nya ha ha!" The audience roared with laughter.

After a brief, shocked splutter Tommy and Barbara resumed kissing. Stuart gestured to the boy to hurry and the curtain finally came across the stage. When it opened again for their curtain call Tommy and Barbara were still kissing. They waved to acknowledge the audience but never took their lips from the other.

"Wonderful!" Dorothy said as she came on stage to congratulate them all. "Funny and convincing. That last bit was priceless." She glanced across at her son. He had finally stopped trying to devour poor Barbara but they were still arm in arm. Their eyes had a soft light that she had never seen before and she was delighted for them. "Everyone out of your costumes. We have thirty minutes to be down by the harbour for the fireworks." She shepherded Winston and Stuart ahead of her as she headed off stage.

Tommy did not want to change, watch fireworks or do anything except take Barbara back to the house. They had a lot of things to talk about and he rather hoped they might start the new year the way he intended to finish it - in his bed, making love. Barbara pulled away and they peeled apart slowly, hesitating until just the tips of their fingers touched. "Hurry," he whispered, "I can't bear to be apart."

"Really?"

"Do you have any idea how much I want to kiss you? Make love to you?"

"You do?"

Tommy came closer and brush some hair from her face. "You thought that was acting?"

"No, I just...us? I mean...I don't just want to be a conquest Sir."

Tommy's face and heart fell. "I thought you knew me better than that Barbara." He pushed past her and stormed to the male dressing area.

Barbara could have kicked herself so she kicked the bucket on the stage instead. It clanged noisily as it rolled away. "What are you so scared of?" she asked herself.

"That it will last and you'll be happy."

Barbara jumped at the sound of Dorothy's voice. "Sorry I didn't know you were there. I think I'm scared it won't last and I'll lose him."

"No, you won't lose him. Neither of you are used to happiness. You exist, you manage and you survive but only with each other there. Now together you can live; you can have someone love you; you can love them; you can be happy. You just need to believe you deserve it."

"She does deserve it."

The women turned to see Tommy standing at the edge of the stage. He had changed into jeans and a light blue shirt. Dorothy hurried off the other side leaving them alone.

"I'm sorry," Barbara said slowly, unable to look at him.

Tommy came over and took her in his arms. He softly kissed the top of her head. "Don't be. Mother's right, we're dependent on each other and neither of us want to lose that. That's why you must know you'd never be a conquest. I came back to tell you that. I do want to make love to you but in our own time. This is not about sex Barbara, it's about love. I love you and I meant what I said on stage, I want us to spend our lives together."

"We already are."

Tommy cuddled her closer. "Hmm, I was thinking it should be legal and maybe we should share our love a little; expand the family."

Barbara smiled into his chest. "You mean buy a dog or something?"

"Maybe two dogs or more," he replied, "one for each of our children perhaps."

"You've kissed me for five minutes and now we're having multiple children together?"

Tommy nibbled her neck and was rewarded with just the wriggling delight he had hoped to elicit. "Not yet, there's one or two things that have to happen first."

"You know, I should be petrified but I'm not. I love you Lion-Rabbit," she said affectionately. He frowned. "Well you're not Bradley and I can't call you Sir or Lord Asherton now." So much had happened today but Barbara was relieved. Finally she did not have to hide her feelings for him and learning they were returned made everything seem possible, even a house full of dogs and children.

"I'll take Lion-Rabbit but it might sound a bit strange to the vicar. Maybe we could settle on, I don't know...a more common name, say...Tommy?"

She laughed softly and shook her head. "Maybe. I love you...Tommy." Her sincere tone melted any residual doubts or concerns. He would never be sure who initiated the kiss but he would never forget it. There was no lust, just two bodies expressing a seemingly bottomless love for the other; a kiss that confessed understanding and respect; commitment and patience.

In the end they had scurried to the harbour just in time for him to make his speech thanking the town for the year past and wishing them success for then next year. Barbara stood beside Stuart and Winston, still in her costume. After his speech he possessively held her to his chest and rested his chin on her shoulder as they watched the fireworks. "I can't wait the three hours until next year," he whispered.

"Why?"

"Because that's the year we'll be married and hopefully have our first puppy." Her mouth fell open in shock or protest so he covered it with a kiss.

* * *

Just before midnight Dorothy took fresh drinks to Winston and Stuart as they stood on the lawn gazing up at the clear, starry night. "Bit different to London," Winston said.

"Yes but very peaceful away from the crowds and countdowns," she replied, "where are Tommy and Barbara?"

Stuart jerked his thumb in the direction if the house. "Up there."

They all turned. In the window of Tommy's bedroom the couple were silhouetted behind the curtain. "They're still kissing!" Winston exclaimed. "I still can't believe it. They fight all the time and..."

"You've never felt the tension between them?" Stuart asked.

"Well yeah, I guess it has been overdue."

They watched as the shadows slowly undressed and moved away from the window. "Well we know where the fireworks are at Howenstowe," Stuart quipped.

Dorothy smiled. "At last!" She glanced at her watch. "Oh look, midnight. Happy New Year everyone!"

* * *

 **Note:** I had planned to finish this weeks ago to be more time appropriate but reality intervened.


End file.
